I have finally got round to organising my room this weekend and in the process managed to gather all my work from the last 5 years into one tidy space. Looking back I realised first of all that I should let glue dry properly before storing away my sketch books, pretty obvious I know, but according to my ruined contact sheets it wasn’t too obvious to me back then.
It was nice to see my work again with fresh eyes and with a new perspective that only time can give you. Perhaps the works that stood out the most were the self portraits that I made over the years. Self portraits are strange because though in your head you think you know who you are when somebody tells you to show it, or you are faced with a situation were you have to present an aspect of yourself you freeze. This is how I felt whenever we had an assignment we had to do a self portrait. I look at the work I created in my first year of university and though the images look like me they are highly controlled and over symbolised, attempting to show over explain poignant situations in my life that influenced who I was or so I thought. This however was not only prominent in my portrait but also in that of my other sitters. To tell you the truth the portraits looked confused and unrealistic, and the work I submitted would probably be my last choice now if I had to submit them again. It’s weird that with time I now look at those portraits and can quickly pinpoint which ones are the realest portraits, and have more going for them. Strangely enough is the ones that are the simplest that feel more honest and interesting, the ones that in the past I passed of as boring. It makes me happy and sad at the same time looking back at them.
Here are a two of my favourites. Sorry about the poor quality.
Self Portrait, 2010.
Zahra as Frida. 2010.
I will be posting more soon.